Lindsay C. Cutshall
[09/09/81 - 08/15/04]

Lindsay & Jason
Jason S. Allen
[05/16/78 - 08/15/04]

♥ "The sun is going down on the horizon, and all I see is the beams shining on the cliff face, and I know that God is awesome. I look around and see His Creation all around me." --Lindsay ♥                                                                                 ♥ "As I stir this Mac & Cheese, I think to myself, what a wonderful life. I've just spent two awesome days with my fiance, Lindsay. Can life ever be so perfect? Only with a person who is so great. God gives me this privilege in life and He has given me a wonderful woman to enjoy it with." --Jason ♥                                                                                 ♥ "Live for things in heaven, not on earth." --Lindsay ♥                                                                                 ♥ "Heaven will be a wonderful place of no suffering, hurt, loneliness; it's a great thing to look forward to." --Lindsay ♥

Saturday, September 09, 2017

Lindsay's 36th Birthday!

Thirty-six years ago today, Lindsay was born. God had a plan and a purpose for her life that I believe she lived out fully in the almost 23 years she was here! She had a true heart for the Lord and lived her life accordingly. Every time I think of her or of Jason, I think of heaven. For me (and I'm sure many others), their story is a reminder of how short and precious life is... and of what really matters and what doesn't. God views death much differently than we do. For those of us who have accepted Christ's gift of Salvation, there is a guarantee of eternal life in heaven with Him. So naturally, when I think of them, I think of heaven and how that is our ultimate destination. It is so easy to get caught up in the stresses that come with adulthood and everyday life, but to remember that God is in control and to keep the perspective on what matters for eternity and what doesn't, is a true gift. This is a perspective that Lindsay had while she was here. This is an excerpt from one of her journals:

"I greatly desire to have many crowns to give my God when I get to heaven. Nothing on earth matters in light of eternity. It is so easy to get caught up in the things of the world and forget what really matters. How amazing that we have forever to spend with Christ. The more we worship and spend our lives for Christ on earth the better we can serve Him in heaven. I sometimes think of myself as a pilgrim in a foreign land traveling through life. We are here temporarily. I should be less materialistic and give more to God. Don’t waste time."

Beautiful Lindsay at Donner Lake, Summer 2004

Lindsay was a remarkable person with a remarkable faith! She was loved by so many people and her memory is kept alive by those who knew & loved her most. I didn't know her personally (only having met her once) but I love hearing stories about her. I am truly looking forward to getting to know her in heaven! I can only try to imagine the adventures that she & Jason (and Caleb) are experiencing at this very moment. ♥ Her mom wrote a sweet tribute for her birthday today:

Go Tribe!

I am sure that, to those of you who didn't know Lindsay very well, this would seem like a strange start to what I am about to say. But if you did know her you would completely get it. She had to be one of the biggest Cleveland Indians fan that there ever was! In fact, on her eighteenth birthday, we all went to the ball game with her. To her surprise, we had "Happy Birthday Lindsay" put up on the big screen for all to see. Last month, Chris took our oldest grandson (Jackson) to a game and he became an instant fan. How cute he looked when he came home in his new Indians cap! He knew his Aunt Lindsay was a huge fan and that we still had all her Tribe things in our shed. It didn't take him long to start going through all her items and scrap books. Even though it was hard to see all those things again it brought me joy to remember the good times. All that to say, on her birthday today, we will be going north to the Cleveland game once again! She would be so happy! And what is really neat is that the Lord worked out a way for us to meet the team after the game and to go down and be on the field. Funny how God works isn't it? He cares about the smallest details. I am sure that Lindsay has met so many saints of old, and to be in the presence of the Lord, that she couldn't care less about being a fan anymore. But boy, is her nephew Jackson ever excited! To see the joy on his face will help make the fact that we can't see her on her birthday a bit easier."

Happy Birthday Lindsay! ♥ You are loved by so many and you will never be forgotten!

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Thirteen years...

Thirteen years ago today, Jason & Lindsay met Jesus face-to-face. They entered into heaven... a paradise FAR beyond what we can even begin to comprehend! Their lives were taken by a cruel young man filled with hate who had no respect for human life... but this isn't about him. This is about JESUS... who is the only One who can turn what someone meant for evil into something good. Jason & Lindsay's deaths were horrific... that hasn't changed. But their eternal lives began at that moment and that is something we have to celebrate! I know it seems really strange to think about it that way. It doesn't erase the validity of grief or how much their presence here is deeply missed... but it gives us HOPE. That's who Jesus is. He is HOPE, He is LIFE, He is LOVE, He is our RESTORER, He is our HEALER... and His death on the cross and resurrection made Him our REDEEMER. If we choose to follow Him... our death means the beginning of eternal life with Him. That is a reason for joy!

With that said... I'm not gonna lie. It did take me some time to fully recognize that there was such a reason for joy in this situation. What I mean is, I was so deeply impacted by this tragedy because it was just... unimaginable! It was overwhelming. I don't know a better way to describe it. But I never doubted God's goodness. In fact, I felt closer to God than ever before! But I was still devastated. There's nothing wrong with that. With God's help, I began to only see the beautiful truth that they're in the glory of heaven and that far outweighs the evil act that ended their lives here. I recently found a song that speaks perfectly to how God, as He NEVER leaves us, carries us through the trials that seek to consume us:

Direct link here.

Jason & Lindsay had such a heart for Jesus! They set aside material things and focused their lives on serving God in very unique ways. God gave them a passion for the simplicity and excitement of the "great outdoors," which is what led them to their unique calling... working at Christian adventure camps, where they could minister to youth while giving them the adventure of a lifetime! Just imagine that. How fun! No typical stresses of the "daily grind" that most of us have. They took their passion and found a way to serve God while pursuing their passion at the same time. Even on their last night on earth, they found a beautiful beach with a breathtaking view of the Pacific ocean and the sunset, and they wrote about their gratitude to God. They saw God in nature and it fueled their faith. They were truly remarkable people! I can only try to imagine what adventures they're on now. I look forward to joining in on those adventures one day.

So today... while I do always wonder what they would be doing if they were still here... I know that God always knew exactly when they would die. Nothing is a surprise to Him. I don't know why He allowed it, but I know He didn't cause it. I am grateful that Jason & Lindsay's legacy honors God in such a beautiful way. They live on in the faith of their families & loved ones who keep their memory alive.

Here are beautiful words from Jason's parents:

A few days after the news broke concerning the suspect in Jason's and Lindsay's murders, God gave me this poem. I found it while reading Elisabeth Elliot's "Keep A Quiet Heart":

I've many a cross to take up now,
and many left behind;
But present troubles move me not,
nor shake my quiet mind.
And what may be tomorrow's cross,
I never seek to find;
My Father says, "Leave that to me,
and keep a quiet mind."

Oh the peace that comes from knowing God is sovereign and the freedom that comes from carrying a heavy burden that truly is not our responsibility, when we commit to follow Jesus as our Lord and Savior!

Yes, after 13 years, we still miss Jason and Lindsay, we long to see their smiles, hear their voices, and feel their touch. The hope that we have in Christ assures us of having all of that again someday. That hope heals the grief and the pain and gives us a quiet heart.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Jason's 39th Birthday!

Today, Jason would have been 39 years old. Every year that another birthday passes, my heart breaks knowing his dreams for his life with Lindsay were never fulfilled. I have so many memories of our childhood together and many of them make me laugh! He was so funny and full of energy and we had so much fun together! We used our imaginations to come up with fun games. We spent a lot of time outdoors. Lately, people around here have been looking for morel mushrooms because, apparently, they are really delicious. (I wouldn't know, as I don't like mushrooms AT ALL... haha!) I remember finding them out in the woods with Jason and we would stomp on them because we thought they were poisonous. I still remember how it felt to squish them, and it cracks me up! :) So every time I see a morel mushroom, I think of Jason. Just one of many memories that make me smile. Our childhood was idyllic, and I am so grateful for that! That is why his death absolutely broke my heart, because our early years together meant so much to me. I treasured my childhood with him and our other neighborhood friends. His tragic death cast a shadow over my memories for many years, but thankfully, God has removed that shadow and I can laugh and smile now as I remember those memories. God has been so good! He has touched so many hearts and changed so many lives through Jason & Lindsay's story.

Me & Jason at age 3

It is surreal and AMAZING to be able to write this now knowing the person responsible for killing them is in custody! I am enormously grateful to the Sonoma County Sheriff's Department! I have so many questions as to why their killer (Shaun Gallon) did this. I'm not sure we'll ever find out, as it seems he does not have any empathy or remorse. If he did, he would have turned himself in long ago. Sadly, his evil nature led to him murdering his own brother too. I don't know what his brother was like... he could have been just as evil or he could have been the absolute opposite... or somewhere in between. But I am saddened that another person died at the hands of Jason & Lindsay's killer. That is exactly what I hoped and prayed would never happen. :( And that is why this is so bittersweet.

With that said, I am looking forward to seeing justice for Jason & Lindsay... if for nothing else than to give their families that closure, if there is such a thing. They already have the peace of knowing that Jason & Lindsay are safe in the physical presence of Jesus! No evil can ever touch them ever again. But it will sure be a huge blessing to see the person responsible for killing them to finally be held accountable for it! I hope he will someday feel remorse and turn to Jesus for forgiveness. Despite the evil crimes he has committed, God's grace even extends to him! But he needs to choose to turn from evil, and he's in it deep. There's no other way to heaven than to truly repent to Jesus and to receive the gift of salvation! I think it will take a lot for him to do that, but it's possible. Nothing will bring Jason & Lindsay back and Shaun Gallon's brother back, that is why it is important he faces justice now. I thank God that now he WILL!

I want to honor Jason today by remembering his legacy of faith and obedience to God. He chose to walk the straight and narrow and he lived his life in such a way that honored God. Perhaps that is why God allowed his death. God knew that this tragedy would turn our lives upside down, but He also knew that this would give us an eternal perspective. God knew that shining a light on the deep faith that Jason lived with would inspire people to follow Jesus. (This obviously applies to Lindsay's legacy as well.) God knew that the steadfast faith that Jason's family (as well as Lindsay's) would display in the aftermath of this enormous loss would challenge people to live with greater faith... and to understand that God can give us strength and peace that passes all understanding, even in the most heartbreaking of circumstances. And, most of all, God has shown that He is good, even when life is deeply painful. He was so very tangibly present in the raw grief... offering such a sense of peace and comfort when the devastation was so intense. I know that Jason would be humbled to know that his untimely death led people to turn to Jesus and experience Him in such powerful, life-changing ways. What Shaun Gallon meant for evil, God turned around for good. He brought beauty from the ashes.

To conclude, here is a beautiful message from Jason's parents:

With the developments of the past few days, Jason and Lindsay's legacy is once again in the forefront. It was always their desire to honor God with their lives and to be obedient to His calling. They surrendered their lives totally, to be used for His glory. Who knew that Christ would be honored not only in the way they lived their lives but also in their deaths? Only God knew. He knew that before they were born. They were faithful to the end.

I am reminded of Paul's desire to advance the gospel in any way God deemed best. In Philippians 1:20. Paul says:

"My eager expectation and hope is that I will not be ashamed about anything, but that now as always, with all boldness, Christ will be highly honored in my body whether by life or by death." (HCSB)

Jason, we, as your parents, are proud of you, and on May 16, we will celebrate the 26 years that God loaned you to us. Happy Birthday, son! We look forward to celebrating eternity with you.
Love, Mom and Dad

Friday, May 05, 2017

At long last!

All glory to God!

Wow, what a day! It is with enormous gratitude that I finally get to write about a real resolution to this case! I am in shock! I have to admit that, after all these years, justice on this side of heaven seemed next to impossible. I thought we would have to wait until heaven to have answers. But by God's amazing grace, answers came today!

I wasn't quite prepared to handle the news. I always imagined I'd be elated and jumping for joy... but with this news came a tidal wave of emotions. It was like bringing myself back to the day we got the news that Jason & Lindsay had been found murdered. It utterly breaks my heart, even to this day. It is so unnerving and devastating, and it doesn't make any more sense now than it did then! And now we have a face and a name to go with the faceless killer that has eluded justice all these years. It is amazing that this day has finally come, but it is overwhelming and bittersweet all at the same time. Surreal, to say the least!

I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, all of the officers & detectives (and everyone else) from the Sonoma County Sheriff's Department and other agencies for their tireless efforts to solve this case! It's been over 12 years and 8 months and they've been phenomenal! They've cared so deeply about getting justice for Jason & Lindsay. They never gave up and today their successful efforts have been made known! I am in complete awe!

Please keep the Allens and the Cutshalls in your prayers! Pray that Shaun Gallon pleads guilty so there's no need for a trial. If a trial becomes necessary, pray that the sheriff's department will have no trouble building a strong case, with or without his confession. Pray for Gallon's family. I don't know their character, but they're dealing with a whole other set of horrific realities. Most of all, pray thanks to God for the capture of this killer who will never be free to kill or hurt anyone else ever again!

Here is a transcript of the press conference from the Sonoma County Sheriff's Department today:

Sheriff announces break in 2004 Jenner double murder case.

The Sheriff read the following statement at today's 10:30am press conference:

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I’m Steve Freitas, the Sheriff here in Sonoma County. I’d like to make a brief statement and then I will take some questions.

I’m pleased to announce that the Sheriff’s Office has made a major break-thru in the investigation surrounding the murders of Jason Allen and Lindsay Cutshall that took place in August, 2004 in Jenner.

Many of us will never forget when Sonoma County was rocked by the discovery of a young innocent couple found murdered on a secluded beach where they spent the night. Jason and Lindsay were just 26 and 22 years old at the time of their deaths. Jason, from Michigan, and Lindsay, from Ohio, were in California working at a Christian youth white water rafting camp in El Dorado County and were on a three day sight-seeing trip of the Northern California coast.

The Sheriff’s Office has identified Shaun Gallon, a 38-year-old resident of Forestville, as Jason and Lindsay’s killer. Gallon was recently arrested for the murder of his brother in their Forestville home. Gallon is well known to Sheriff’s Office Investigators, and early on in the Jenner murder investigation Gallon was a person of interest who detectives never ruled out as a possible suspect.

Upon Gallon’s arrest for the murder of his brother, Sheriff’s Office Detectives took another opportunity to talk to him about the murders in Jenner. Gallon made statements to the detectives with new information and additional investigative leads into the case. He had information about the killings that no other person could have known and we have located evidence that corroborates his information. Based on what detectives have been able to learn, we feel confident that we have Jason and Lindsay’s killer in custody.

Sheriff’s Office detectives are continuing to follow-up on leads and are working hard to complete the investigation. We will be presenting our report to the District Attorney’s Office in the near future. However, we are still encouraging anyone with information about this case and/or Shaun Gallon to contact our detectives. For that reason, we are releasing a photo of Shaun Gallon. Sergeant Crum has that picture for those who want it and it will be posted at the end of this press conference.

I’d like to a take moment to thank the other law enforcement agencies who assisted on this investigation over the years: The Santa Rosa Police Department, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, California State Parks and the California Department of Justice. Additionally, I want to thank the members of our community who have come forward with information on this case.

I also want to thank the many men and women of the Sheriff’s Office who have worked on this investigation over the years. I’m grateful to the dozens of detectives, from all of the Sheriff’s Office investigative units, who persistently and faithfully worked on this case for nearly 13 years. I wish I could name them all, but there are too many to list. I would like to acknowledge and thank the current investigative team: Lieutenant Tim Duke, Sgt. Shannon McAlvain, Lead Detective Joe Horsemen, Detectives Jeff Toney, Jayson Fowler and Jesse Hanshew.

This case is further proof that the men and women of the Sheriff’s Office will never give up in protecting our community and seeking justice for crime victims.

Most importantly I want to thank the Cutshall and Allen families, who have consistently been supportive and patient during this 13 year investigation. I’d like to read a statement from Bob and Delores Allen and Chris and Kathy Cutshall:

“We are extremely pleased that our children’s murderer is in custody where he belongs. We praise the Lord for his capture and we trust in the due process of the law. We would like to thank the heartfelt concern of the people of Jenner and Sonoma County. We have appreciated your support for this case throughout our thirteen-year ordeal.

We are especially grateful to the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Office for their tireless pursuit of Jason’s and Lindsay’s killer. The strong support for us and for the case by the former sheriff, Sheriff Cogbill, and the current sheriff, Sheriff Freitas, has been outstanding. And the dedication of all the lieutenants, sergeants, detectives, and support personnel of Sheriff’s Office Investigations throughout the years has totally amazed us. The combination of their humanity and professionalism would not allow them to give up on this case. And when we at times wondered if this day would ever come, the detectives in particular wouldn’t allow us to lose hope. To all who have worked this case over the years, we can’t thank you enough. You are true heroes to us and we thank God for you.

Finally and most importantly, we want to thank our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for sustaining us and our families throughout this long journey. We know that we have miles to go before the case is closed with a conviction, but we also know the power and wonder of God’s grace.

Our prayers continue to be for the Sheriff’s Office as they build their case, for the families of the deputies, who have given them their undying support, for all the dear folks of Sonoma County who have prayed for us, and even for Shaun Gallon who heartlessly committed this senseless and wicked crime. Thank you.”

Links to news articles:

  • 5/5/17: Sonoma County Press Democrat - Article 1 [PDF]

  • 5/5/17: Sonoma County Press Democrat - Article 2 [PDF]

  • 5/5/17: ABC 7 News [PDF]

  • 5/5/17: Fox 40 [PDF]

  • 5/5/17: Daily Mail UK [PDF]

  • 5/6/17: Sonoma County Press Democrat [PDF]

  • 5/6/17: Time Magazine [PDF]

  • 5/8/17: People Magazine [PDF]

  • 5/16/17: Sonoma County Press Democrat [PDF]

  • Friday, September 09, 2016

    Lindsay's 35th Birthday!

    Today, Lindsay would have turned 35. It strikes me that so much time has passed, as she was only 22 (less than a month shy of her 23rd birthday) when she died. 35 seems so much older, and I realize again just how young she was when she entered into heaven.

    From what I've learned about Lindsay, she was very sweet and genuine. I only met her once so I didn't know her personally but she was soft-spoken and kind. She and Jason looked so happy together and I was so excited for them both! (I met her at their dual wedding shower in May of 2004, 3 months before they died.) I love that God brought them together! Jason, who never thought he'd meet a woman with the same faith and the same adventuresome spirit that he had, was so grateful to God for her! They both were so looking forward to getting married! They had big dreams for their lives together. No one could have seen this coming. No one knew that someone would abruptly and permanently end those dreams. It is still so hard for me to grasp how someone could do that and still sleep at night.

    It brings great relief that we know where Lindsay and Jason are. They lived with their hearts toward heaven! They saw God in His Creation and genuinely lived to serve Him. In Lindsay's last recorded words in the journal on that beach, she wrote of seeing God's presence:

    "The sun is going down on the horizon, and all I see is the beams shining on the cliff face, and I know that God is awesome. I look around and see His Creation all around me."

    She got it. She saw Him in her surroundings and loved Him with her whole heart! And within hours, she met Him face-to-face with her beloved Jason by her side.

    More evidence of her faith in Jesus was written in journals her family found after her passing:

    "I greatly desire to have many crowns to give my God when I get to heaven. Nothing on earth matters in light of eternity. It is so easy to get caught up in the things of the world and forget what really matters. How amazing that we have forever to spend with Christ. The more we worship and spend our lives for Christ on earth the better we can serve Him in heaven. I sometimes think of myself as a pilgrim in a foreign land traveling through life. We are here temporarily. I should be less materialistic and give more to God. Don’t waste time."

    ♥ ♥ ♥

    "Heaven will be a wonderful place of no suffering, hurt, loneliness; it’s a great thing to look forward to."

    I find it greatly comforting to know where she & Jason are. Jesus is the only reason for this comfort and this peace! He gives us hope and reassurance because we know that Lindsay & Jason were saved and that they are safe with Him! And I find it especially comforting that little Caleb is with them also. That precious little boy who only lived here for such a short time now is having grand adventures with his aunt & uncle in the paradise of heaven and I am so excited to be able to join in on that someday. We all are!

    Please pray for Lindsay's family and loved ones today as they commemorate another birthday without her here. I know they miss her terribly. ♥

    ♥ Happy Birthday Lindsay! You are well-loved and will never be forgotten! ♥

    Monday, August 15, 2016

    Twelve years...

    It's been 12 years now since Jason & Lindsay died. Twelve long years but also short years... since in many ways it seems like forever ago, but yet these years have flown by!

    I've been thinking lately about my upcoming birthday. I will be 39 this week and I'm not so sure I like that I'm already rapidly approaching the last year of my thirties. But then I have to remind myself of a quote that I heard several years ago that I will never forget:

    "Never regret growing older, for it's a privilege denied to many."

    Wow, that is powerful! And it brings tears to my eyes because I always think of Jason & Lindsay when I am reminded of that. They were denied the privilege of a long life. They were denied their plans to get married. They were denied their dreams for their future. They were denied the possibility of having children. They were denied the chance to grow old together. In a matter of moments, someone robbed them of ALL of that. That is unimaginable to me! Still, after all these years! My funny friend & neighbor I grew up with who was so full of life and adventure was robbed of a life past the age of 26, and his beloved Lindsay, the age of 22. I still wish every day that God would have stopped that from happening. But for some reason, He allowed it. God didn't cause it to happen, but He didn't stop it. I have learned that God views death differently than we do. For those who have chosen to follow Him and have accepted the gift of Salvation, death on earth is the beginning of eternal life in heaven! So as painful as it is to have lost Jason & Lindsay at such young ages, we have the peace of knowing that they are in the best place possible and they are forever safe. There is much to be grateful for, despite the enormous loss of losing them here. God has brought sweetness in the form of souls saved for eternity and a new perspective on life itself... both here on earth and in heaven. I will never think of life & death the same way.

    With that said, I desperately pray for justice for Jason & Lindsay! Even though we have the peace of knowing that they're safe in heaven with Jesus, the truth remains that there is a KILLER out there who has not been held responsible for his actions. For 12 years, he has been allowed to live as if nothing ever happened. The hardest part is knowing that there are likely people out there who have the answers... who know exactly who did it. I hope that they will find it in their hearts to come forward. Put yourself in the shoes of Jason & Lindsay's parents & siblings. They suffered a monumental loss and they STILL have no answers! Nothing has ever been or will be the same. There is always a hole at every family get-together where Jason & Lindsay should be. Every holiday, every celebration... they are NOT there because of their killer who has STILL not been held responsible. I'm tired of waiting. I am so, so sad that their families have no answers. The sweetest people in the world are still waiting for justice for the unimaginable crime that took their kids from them. If you know who did this, PLEASE COME FORWARD. Give yourself the peace of mind in knowing that you're doing the right thing. I pray for you to have the courage to do it.

    In conclusion, I want to share some photos of the sweet couple we are remembering today. They were genuine, kind-hearted, funny, adventurous, full of life, full of love, and lived to serve the Lord. They were remarkable in every sense of the word! I am so blessed to have shared my childhood with Jason and to still know his family. I also consider it a blessing to be connected with Lindsay's family who are just as genuine. These are all amazing people who are joined by an unthinkable loss and an unwavering faith in Jesus.

    "When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: 'Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
    ~1 Corinthians 15:54-58

    ♥ Never Forgotten ♥

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