Happy 28th Birthday Lindsay!

Lindsay Christine Cutshall was born 28 years ago today... and, if they were still here today on this earth, she and Jason would be celebrating their 5th wedding anniversary on Friday. So this is, undoubtedly, a painful and emotionally raw time for their families. While time does lessen the shock of what happened to some extent... the pain will always still be there. But God is GOOD! God has found so many incredible ways to touch people's lives through the way Lindsay and Jason lived their lives for Him! I am often moved to tears by the stories I receive from people who find and read this blog. It's such a strange thing for me... because I never imagined that I would be in this position, writing a memorial blog for a dear friend I shared my childhood with (as well as for his beloved fiance). I wish they were still here! But I feel blessed and honored to maintain this in their memory. It has been therapeutic for me in so many ways! And I have grown so much spiritually... in my relationship with God and in my understanding of Him. I am so blessed and humbled that other people read this blog to learn more about Jason & Lindsay and the love that they had for the Lord!

In honor of Lindsay's birthday, I asked her family if they would share their thoughts. This is from her father:

Some would say that if Lindsay was still alive she would have been 28-years-old today. But I say that Lindsay IS alive and that she IS 28-years-old today. She was born 28 years ago, and she is still alive. In fact, she is more alive today than she has ever been before. 2 Corinthians 5:4-5 says, "For indeed while we are in this (earthly) tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge." A little more than five years ago, Lindsay and Jason were "swallowed up by life." So I can truthfully say that Lindsay IS 28 today. I don’t know how that translates into eternity; I just know that she is alive! She and Jason, together at once, went to sleep in the Lord and woke up in life eternal and knew themselves to be more alive than we can imagine.

So Kathy and I want to say, "Happy birthday, Lindsay! You ARE 28 today and you are exalted far above your dad and mom! When we think of you, which is every day, we think of you as Jude 24-25 describes you: "Now to Him who is able to keep you (Lindsay, and Jason) from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." Lindsay, you ARE 28 today, and we are so proud of you for being devoted to the One who made you stand in His glorious presence blameless with great joy! Our missing you is nearly unbearable at times, but we are pleased and proud of you beyond measure, and we give your great God glory, honor and praise! We love you, Lindsay! And we love you, Jason!"

I have to say, one of the biggest things that God has shown me throughout all of this is a massive change of my perspective on life! Not just life here on this planet, but ETERNAL life. God really opened my eyes to the PROMISE of Heaven! It dawned on me that Jason & Lindsay never actually ceased to exist. The moment they died, they were in the presence of the ONE and ONLY Holy God! That is what Lindsay's father is talking about. They are more alive now than ever before because they are in Heaven... and there is NO better place to be!

Lindsay's brother-in-law Ben Croghan (who is married to her only sibling/sister) wrote this in her memory:

Lindsay

Healing seems to take time
With pain ever present
The scars remind

Of times from the past
Memories so raw
Oh Lord sustain us, through it all

We’ve lost someone dear
Without replace
We long for her, reunited embrace

Hearts weigh heavy
No despair
Our Faith is strong, in Your gentle Care

"Weep, but briefly, for your loved ones as they enter into the Kingdom of God. For they shall possess a joy and peace that is unattainable on God’s earthly realm. Rather, rejoice in their everlasting and total happiness, for their eyes have seen God."

Happy 28th Birthday Lindsay! ♥

Five years...

(Looking at this photo breaks my heart all over again!) :(
I want to begin with a beautiful note from Jason's parents:

"We miss our kids as much as ever, but the Lord has been so good to reveal to us how He is still using this tragedy to change lives. We cannot comprehend His ways nor His timing, but just trust, in simple faith, that He will continue to work out a wonderful plan. Our desire is to give God the glory in all that He does, in joyful times and in difficult situations. We thank everyone for their words of encouragement and for your prayers. We are in California, visiting friends at Rock'n'Water and so appreciate the role they played in Jason and Lindsay's lives.
~ Bob and Delores

Today marks the 5th "anniversary" of the day that Jason & Lindsay were killed. ♥

I can't believe it's been 5 years already! Five years ago today... none of us knew yet what had happened. In the days that followed... this tragedy that is every parents' nightmare became a reality for the Allens and the Cutshalls. But their attitude and rock-solid faith in God became a testament to God's grace and presence in the midst of such a heart-wrenching and life-altering tragedy. I have learned SO MUCH from them!

What happened to Jason & Lindsay forever changed my life! At the time that it happened, I wasn't taking my faith very seriously... and I'm ashamed to say that. But when I learned of the way that Jason & Lindsay were truly living their lives for Christ... God really opened my eyes to the fact that there was another way He wanted me to be living! He wanted me to be living my life for HIM... and not for myself. That takes some real discipline because it's SO easy in this world to get trapped in the "me first" mentality! And I'm sure many of you reading this know exactly what I mean! But we are all on this planet for a reason... for a God-given purpose. No matter how we were born, who we were born to, where we came from or what we've been through... NONE of us are here by accident! We are here because God put us here. But it is up to us whether or not we choose to believe in Him and follow Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Jason and Lindsay hoped to influence young people to follow Jesus. They wanted to set an example with their lives, and they were doing so... but God allowed them to die. I don't understand all of God's reasoning behind it... but He clearly knew that many MANY people would come to know Christ through this tragedy! God has been SO good! It was evident, immediately after Jason & Lindsay's deaths, that God was never going to let this happen in vain! I will thank Him for that for eternity! God knew that this would hurt like crazy for those who knew and loved Jason & Lindsay... but He also knew that we all would be refined by it, that people would find Him through it, and that He would ultimately be glorified! And I'm SURE that Jason & Lindsay are so humbled! God loved them enough to set an example for us with their lives and their deaths. He chose them for a reason! His ways are not always our ways, but He is wiser and He is HOLY... and I am always in awe of the mysterious ways that He works.

I am praying for all of you who will read this! I hope that you are encouraged by Jason & Lindsay's story, because it is a real God story as well! God can use everything we go through, both good and bad, for our good if we let Him. He breathed life into each and every one of us... and He loves us all SO much!

I know that a lot of people wonder how a loving God could allow such suffering in the world. I don't understand it either... but I've experienced enough of God's grace, peace and presence in such powerful ways that it's changed my entire perspective on EVERYTHING! I had the blessing to go to South Africa on a mission trip a year ago... and I saw a lot of suffering there. But the beautiful people I met and worked with there who had relatively NOTHING were some of the truest Christ-following people I have ever been blessed to meet in my entire life! Because they have so little, they rely on God for everything! Their faith in Him is authentic and powerful; they expect miracles and get miracles! The same God that loves us and wants to know us, is the same God who carries them through the difficulties of poverty and disease. None of the people I met there complained once about their situation. I'm sure they know the injustice of it all, since literally just down the road, people are living in wealth and prosperity. But they see the opportunity in every difficulty... and for them, the joy of Christ far outweighs the sorrow they've experienced.

That is the same God I choose to follow! He is the same God that so many people have lived and died for! He is a loving God who wants to carry us through the suffering in our lives... because there will be suffering. None of us are exempt. But you will never have true hope if you choose to walk alone.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." ~ Deuteronomy 31:6 "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." ~ Matthew 11:28-30 "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." ~ Psalm 42:5-6a "But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love." ~ Psalm 33:18 "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through Whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, Whom He has given us." ~ Romans 5:1-5

Please pray for Jason & Lindsay's families! No doubt this 5 year mark is going to be very difficult in many ways. There is still a lot of pain... but God is always gracious. ♥ He is VERY real and VERY present in the sorrow of all who love Him.

Suspect's DNA does not match...

I guess this isn't really that big of a surprise (because it was a long shot), but part of me is disappointed that the DNA of Joseph Burgess didn't match what was found at the scene. I guess it doesn't completely rule him out, but chances are... their killer is still out there. Please pray for the truth to be revealed! Someone out there knows something! It would bring a lot of comfort and relief to everyone who knew Jason & Lindsay if their killer could finally be brought to justice! August 15 (in less than two weeks) marks the 5 year "anniversary." Pray for their families!

No Link to Jenner Slaying Found in Fugitive's DNA (PDF)

Friday, July 31, 2009

By DEREK MOORE
THE PRESS DEMOCRAT

Authorities say they are unable to link a dead fugitive to the 2004 slayings of a couple on a beach near Jenner, dashing hopes of solving a case that continues to baffle investigators and torment the victims’ families.

A DNA sample taken from Joseph Henry Burgess and a bullet found among his possessions do not match evidence gathered by investigators in the Jenner case, the Sonoma County Sheriff’s Department said Friday.

While that doesn’t rule out the 62-year-old Burgess as a person of interest in the case, the findings also fail to establish that he had anything to do with the beach slayings.

“It’s frustrating, but that’s the business we are in,” Sonoma County Sheriff’s Capt. Matt McCaffrey said Friday.

Burgess, who was wanted in connection with the 1972 slayings of a young couple on a beach in Canada, was killed July 16 in a gun battle with New Mexico sheriff’s deputies that left a deputy dead.

Sonoma County detectives traveled to New Mexico last week searching for evidence that might have implicated Burgess in the Jenner case.

Lindsay Cutshall, 22, and her fiance, 26-year-old Jason Allen, were found shot to death on Aug. 18, 2004. The couple were camped out on Fish Head Beach on what was supposed to be their final weekend in California before returning home to Ohio and marrying.

The case bears strong resemblance to the 1972 slayings of Ann Durrant, a 20-year-old Canadian, and Leif Carlsson, 19, an exchange student from Sweden, who were camping on a remote beach near Tofino, on West Vancouver Island.

Police said that after the couple went to sleep, Burgess, who was then 25 and a Vietnam-era draft dodger, snuck out from the bushes and shot each one in the head with a .22-caliber rifle.

Burgess, who was described by police as a religious fanatic, did not approve of pre-marital sex and had told a witness that the young couple’s behavior bothered him.

Cutshall and Allen had taken vows of chastity and were in separate sleeping bags when they were shot. But like Durrant and Carlsson, the couple was open about their Christian beliefs, beliefs that in theory could have made them targets to someone such as Burgess.

But no one knew the New Jersey-born man was even alive before his deadly encounter two weeks ago with two New Mexico sheriff’s deputies who were conducting a surveillance operation to nab a thief dubbed “The Cookie Bandit.”

The intruder had been breaking into cabins in New Mexico’s Jemez mountains for a decade and stealing food and other items. On this particular morning, he chose to enter the cabin where the deputies were staked out, leading to an intense fight.

Despite being handcuffed, Burgess managed to reach a .357-revolver tucked in his waistband behind his back and start firing. Both he and Sgt. Joe Harris of the Sandoval County Sheriff’s Department died in the ensuing gun battle.

Authorities later determined that Burgess’ gun was registered to another man who was reported missing in 2007 after he failed to return from a camping trip in the Jemez mountains.

Sonoma County detectives took DNA samples from Burgess to compare with DNA found in saliva that was on a beer bottle recovered from the Jenner beach.

Normally, such tests can take weeks or months. But the California Department of Justice made it a priority, underscoring interest in the case and hopes that it might finally be solved.

McCaffrey said Friday that had the DNA matched, it would have been strong evidence that Burgess took part in the slayings, as it would have placed him at the beach.

A positive match on an expended .45-caliber bullet that was found among Burgess’ possessions could have been an even more definitive link.

Investigators have identified two types of rifles, both made by Marlin Firearms Co. in North Haven, Conn., that could have been used to kill Cutshall and Allen, who were each shot once in the head.

One rifle is a lever-action type known as the Model 1894. The other is the Model 45, which is semi-automatic and more commonly referred to as a “camp carbine.”

The rifles are unique in that they use ammunition that also can be used in handguns.

McCaffrey said the bullet found in New Mexico was determined to have been fired from a pistol, and not from the rifle used in the Jenner slayings. He said the spent bullet has been sent back to New Mexico.

McCaffrey said no other items possibly related to the Jenner case were found in New Mexico. He said authorities there are still searching for evidence, but that Sonoma County investigators “are not holding our breaths.”

He also spoke of the frustration of not finding a definitive resolution as the five-year anniversary of the couple’s deaths approaches this month.

“We’ve had so many times where we’ve had evidence or a suspect where we thought, ‘Boy, this looks really good,’” he said. “But we have to keep from getting too high or low on any case. You can’t get too emotionally attached.”

LINKS TO ADDITIONAL ARTICLES:

No DNA Match on Possible Killer of Holland Twp. Man and Fiancee (PDF) -- (Holland Sentinel, West Michigan)

DNA Doesn't Implicate Man in Jenner Killing (PDF) -- (San Francisco Chronicle)

Update on Evidence in the 2004 Jenner Double Murder Case (PDF) -- (Sonoma County Sheriff's Dept. Press Release)

UPDATE: Suspect killed in shootout with police...

Well, I finally have some news to post! I'm not sure if this will turn out to be relevant to Jason & Lindsay's case or not, but we will soon find out!

Last week Thursday, one of the top suspects in Jason & Lindsay's murder case was killed in a shootout with police in New Mexico. This suspect, Joseph Henry Burgess, was wanted for the murders of another young couple (who were killed in a very similar way) up in Canada back in 1972. Police in New Mexico did not know his identity until he was killed. Read more of the details in the article and links below.

I am hoping and praying that the detectives can determine, once and for all, whether or not this man killed Jason & Lindsay! If they find that his DNA does not match the trace evidence left at the scene... then we'll know at least two families (the families of Ann Durrant and Leif Carlsson) will have some sense of closure. Nothing can bring their loved ones back... but capturing (in this case, killing) the person responsible for their deaths at least puts that much to rest. God bless them!

Please read the article below... and please pray for Jason & Lindsay's families! This clearly will be an emotional time for them for many reasons... including the fact that the 5th anniversary of Jason & Lindsay's deaths is coming up in less than a month!

Also, please pray for the families of Ann and Leif... as well as the police officer, Sgt. Joe Harris, who was fatally wounded by Burgess before return fire killed Burgess himself.

'Person of Interest' in '04 Jenner Beach Slayings Killed in New Mexico Shootout (PDF)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

By DEREK MOORE
THE PRESS DEMOCRAT

Hiding out in a cabin in New Mexico’s Juarez mountains before dawn, two sheriff’s deputies watched homes across the street for signs of the elusive “Cookie Bandit.”

They were hoping to catch the thief in the act. For more than a decade, someone had been breaking into the cabins northwest of Albuquerque and stealing items needed for outdoor survival.

Suddenly, the deputies were confronted last week by an armed man inside their hideout, leading to an intense but brief gun battle in which the intruder and one of the deputies died.

Adding to the shock was the man’s identity: Joseph Henry Burgess, 62, who is a person of interest in four killings spanning 37 years, including the 2004 slayings of a Christian couple on a beach near Jenner.

That Burgess was alive at all was a surprise, given that he had eluded authorities for so long.

“I assumed the guy was dead. I was very surprised when I first heard it,” said Ohio minister Chris Cutshall. His 22-year-old daughter, Lindsay, was shot to death along with her fiancee, Jason Allen, 26, almost five years ago on the secluded Sonoma County beach.

The slayings are perhaps the county’s most notorious unsolved crime. Detectives who’ve spent years following leads will be going to New Mexico to try and determine whether they’ve finally solved the case, or whether this is another disappointing dead-end.

“Obviously, we’re very interested to see if he was in the area in 2004, but we realize this is going to be very difficult since this man has been under the radar since 1972,” Sonoma County Sheriff’s Capt. Matt McCaffrey said Tuesday. “He’s probably not going to leave much of a trail.”

Cutshall and Allen were shot to death in 2004 as they lay in separate sleeping bags on what Jenner locals refer to as Fishhead or Driftwood Beach. The couple had spent the summer in California white-water rafting at a Christian youth camp and were on their final getaway before heading home to Ohio and marrying.

The killings bore a close resemblance to the 1972 slayings of Ann Barbara Durrant, 20, and Leif Bertil Carlsson, 19, who were shot to death in their sleeping bag on a Vancouver Island beach.

Burgess was then a 25-year-old draft dodger from New Jersey living on the beach. He reportedly held strong religious views and made statements taking issue with the unwed couple sleeping together on the beach. Those statements, and other evidence at the scene, made him the prime suspect in the case.

The possibility that Burgess might be tied to the Jenner slayings some 30 years later hasn’t been ruled out.

McCaffrey pointed out that California is not that far out of the way for someone traveling between Canada and New Mexico. Given Burgess’s success eluding authorities and with living outdoors, it’s not a stretch to imagine the drifter slipping in and out of Jenner undetected, he said.

Burgess’s elusive ways, comgined with similarities in the Canadian and Jenner murders, have raised his profile among the numerous persons of interest identified to date by Sonoma County investigators, McCaffrey said.

“This wasn’t a guy who killed in ‘72 and moved on with his life,” McCaffrey said. “This was a person who continued to live and survive, and was armed and continued to commit crimes. It’s significant.”

But connecting Burgess to the Jenner slayings will be all the more difficult now that he is dead.

McCaffrey said detectives will search for anything that might link Burgess to the Jenner case. That includes the weapon used to kill Cutshall and Allen — a Marlin rifle, either a lever-action type known as the Model 1894 or the Model 45, which is semi-automatic and more commonly referred to as a “camp carbine.”

Such rifles are unusual in that they use ammunition that also can be used in handguns.

Burgess was armed with a handgun when he entered the New Mexico cabin last week, according to Peter Olson, communications director for the New Mexico Department of Public Safety.

In the ensuing struggle, Burgess shot and killed Sgt. Joe Harris of the Sandoval County Sheriff’s Department. Harris fired his service weapon, but it’s unclear whether those shots killed Burgess.

On Tuesday, hundreds of mourners attended the 46-year-old sergeant’s funeral. He left behind a wife and 10-year-old daughter.

Harris’s partner in the stakeout, Deputy Teresa Moriarty, was not injured during the gunbattle.

Olson said investigators found camp sites used by Burgess, along with an identification card with his name on it, a surprising find given his efforts to conceal his identity.

A photo of Burgess, taken by a surveillance camera that was being used to monitor wildlife, was released by authorities. It shows him sporting a scraggly gray beard and wearing what appears to be a warm fleece jacket, ski hat and backpack.

However, it’s doubtful Burgess spent winters camped out in the frigid New Mexico mountains, Olson said.

“If he’s connected to some of these other things, he didn’t spend all of his time in New Mexico. He might have traveled in the summer months,” Olson said.

The families of Cutshall and Allen are awaiting updates on whether the person who killed the couple may finally have been found. Next month marks the five-year anniversary of their deaths.

Finding Burgess after so many years gives Chris Cutshall hope that an answer may some day come.

“Here he is 37 years later,” Cutshall said. “At least Canada might have some answers.”

Outside of finding the murder weapon or some other direct link, McCaffrey said, definitively proving whether Burgess was involved in the Jenner slayings may be difficult.

“There might be a lot of things that show he was in the area, and in the end, we might think this is our guy,” McCaffrey said. “But there might not be enough to say definitely he is or isn’t.”

An undated surveillance photo provided by New Mexico State Police shows 62-year-old Joseph Henry Burgess of New Jersey.

 
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LINKS TO ADDITIONAL ARTICLES:

Slain Burglar Tied to Canadian Killings (PDF) -- (KRQE News 13 in Albuquerque, NM)

Jenner Beach Killings Suspect is Slain (PDF) -- (San Francisco Chronicle)

Allen/Cutshall Possible Suspect Killed (PDF) -- (Wood TV8, West Michigan)

Man Shot by Police in New Mexico May Have Ties to the Murder of a West Michigan Couple (PDF) -- (WWMT NewsChannel 3, West Michigan)

Slain Bandit Linked to Couples' Slayings (PDF) -- (FOX 17, West Michigan)

Dead Fugitive in New Mexico Suspected in California Beach Killing (PDF) -- (Holland Sentinel, West Michigan)

Allen's Family Not Convinced Burgess Killed Their Son (PDF) -- (FOX 17, West Michigan)

Deputies Pursue New Mexico Link to Jenner Slayings (PDF) -- (Press Democrat, Santa Rosa, CA)

Disturbing Details Follow Jenner Homicide Suspect (PDF) -- (Press Democrat, Santa Rosa, CA)

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TRIBUTE TO SLAIN POLICE OFFICER:

Harris Lauded as Father, Dedicated Cop (PDF) -- (KRQE News 13 in Albuquerque, NM)

Officer's Family Remembers "Superman" (PDF) -- (KRQE News 13 in Albuquerque, NM)

Birthday message from Jason's mom...

Here is a birthday message from Jason's mom, Delores, in honor of his memory today:

It doesn't seem that long ago that I held him in my arms for the first time. Little did we know what God had in store for him, but I knew God had a plan and would use him in a special way. God gave him to us for a season, a short season, then took him home for eternity. Lindsay was part of the plan. Their work was finished. They had completed everything God had intended for them to do. They left a legacy, a testimony to shine a light for others to follow. We are proud to be called their parents.

There are no birthdays in heaven, yet we celebrate his 26 years here on earth. I guess he will always be 26 to us. We look forward to being together again with Jason and Lindsay, where there will be no more good-byes. That is the hope we have in Christ!

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." [Revelation 21:4]

Happy 31st Birthday Jason!

Today is Jason's birthday... he would have been 31 today.

Instead of being sad, I am looking for ways to find joy -- to celebrate the life that Jason lived while he was here and to celebrate the amazing ways that God has blessed people through his life and even through his death.

I heard on the radio a short time ago an interview with Christian music artist Tammy Trent. Back in September of 2001, her husband of 10 years, Trent Lenderink, was involved in a fatal diving accident during a trip to Jamaica. Tammy tearfully recalled what happened. (I could not find a transcript of the interview, but I did find these quotes from her online that parallel what she said.)

"Something was terribly wrong. Trent, free diving in Jamaica's Blue Lagoon, had not come up for air. After 45 minutes, I began to worry. After an hour, I was frantic. Rescue divers began searching for him. I went in the back of the restaurant at the Blue Lagoon, where I found myself lifting my hands towards heaven, crying out to God to help me. I stayed at the Blue Lagoon the entire time that they searched for Trent. After three hours, they had to call off the search because it was getting dark. That night, they took me to the nearby home of two doctors. I was up all night talking to family, friends and pastors.

On the morning of Sept. 11, they recovered the body of my husband, Trent, from the Blue Lagoon. He died of multiple contusions to the back of his head.

I remember falling to the floor screaming and crying. All I could say was, 'Jesus, what happened? Trent, baby, what happened? What went wrong? How could this possibly be good for my life? What do I do now? What am I supposed to do?' All our lives Trent and I had looked to God for guidance, for wisdom, for comfort. And so, even though my heart was breaking and I couldn't understand how He would allow such a thing to happen, I knew I didn't want to run away from God. Desperate to cling to the only thing I knew was true, I found myself crying out to Him, 'There are a million questions, and I don¹t understand any of this.' As my body ached with sadness and confusion, I just kept asking God to remind me that He was real."

Tammy went on to say that God completely amazed her in how He carried her through the pain and the anguish. Though she still misses Trent terribly, she continues to hold tight to God's promises of heaven and the reality that she will see Trent again someday. She still does not fully understand why God let it happen but she says that God has given her strength that can only come from Him and that God has really used her story to touch people's hearts and change people's lives. Then she said something that I really related to well. She said that she would NEVER consider Trent's death a blessing... but she is so grateful that God could use this tragic story to help other people find Christ. The fact that so much good can come from something that heartbreaking is a true testament to God's grace!

I can't tell you how much I felt I could relate to what Tammy said! Although the circumstances are different, the reaction is the same. I have SO many questions for God. I want to know why He didn't stop Jason & Lindsay from being murdered. I want to know why He didn't spare their families this incredible heartache and loss! But then I can see, somewhat, the "bigger picture" that our sovereign God sees. Jason & Lindsay wanted to reach lost people for Christ with their lives... and now, by God's grace, they are actually fulfilling that mission through their deaths. It is amazing to think about... but that does not mean that I am glad that Jason & Lindsay died. It is such a bittersweet thing. I want them back. I wish they were still here! I wish I didn't have to have a reason to write a memorial website for a dear friend I shared my childhood with. But God never said that life would be easy. He only said that He'd carry us through it... and He has, indeed, been faithful. If nothing else, this pain makes us long for heaven... and long for an eternity in the presence of our loving Savior. Thank you, Jesus, for your gift of Salvation! We are lost without You!

With that said, to honor Jason's memory today on his 31st birthday, I want to share with you a wonderful truth! Here is one very recent (and AMAZING) example of a life changed through Jason & Lindsay's story that brings me so much joy!:

Back in December of 2006, a brave young woman from Brazil found this memorial website after hearing about Jason & Lindsay's story in the "Our Daily Bread" publication. She listened to Lindsay's dad's audio message called "For Such a Time as This" and got in touch with the Cutshalls. Over time, through many e-mails, she shared her life story with them. Without going into too many details, she had a lot of anger and confusion toward God because she had been very hurt and betrayed by people in her life who called themselves Christians. Their attitude toward her made her, understandably, very angry over the years. Just last week, Lindsay's parents flew down to Brazil to spend a week with her to counsel her, pray with her, and share the gospel with her in person. And last week Thursday, May 7, she accepted Christ! Praise God!!! :)   Here are her words: "My life has been touched by some great and loving people. I'm here in Brazil and they are in the USA, however, Jason and Lindsay made us a family. I am not the same person I was and I thank God first. He broke those strong walls around me and continues to break them. I am finally breathing the reality of this life and of God. It was and still is a miracle! I thank all of you in the USA who spent so much time praying for me. I love you all. It was a wonderful and loving week here in Brazil. Plenty of love!!!"

How AMAZING is it to see God still continuing to reach lost people for Christ through Jason & Lindsay's story?!? God is so awesome!!!

Happy 31st Birthday Jason! ♥