Nine years...

Jason & Lindsay at their dual wedding shower in May 2004.

Today marks the 9-year "anniversary" of Jason & Lindsay's deaths. Every year, I still find myself overwhelmed with memories... from the gamut of emotions that came with finding out about what happened to them (after several days of worrying and praying while they were still missing) as well as remembering all of my great childhood memories with Jason that are now different... because they are tinged with sadness. I can't look at any photos of me and him very long without my eyes filling with tears! But every year, I find myself so grateful that God has brought some very beautiful things from the tragedy of their murders. Many people have come to know the Lord through their story and God has also taught all of us about what truly matters in life, and how His perspective on death is very different than ours!

I am also grateful for the answers we do have! My heart breaks for people who have loved ones who are missing, because not knowing is worse than at least having the closure of knowing their fate. I find myself trying to remember those stories as I hear them on the news... to remember to pray for the missing and for their loved ones. As their names start to be forgotten by the general population, because of lack of news coverage, I know their families and friends are still hurting and very desperate for answers! I know the feeling of bewilderment as the rest of the world keeps moving while your own life seems to have come to a screeching halt. And as hours turn into days, and days turn into months, and months turn into years... your life is never the same... but the world keeps turning. I don't want to forget their plight! I am praying for the truth to be revealed in every one of those situations, even if the truth is gut-wrenching. At least then, the process of healing can begin. When there are no answers at all, the wounds remain raw. I'm grateful for the answers we do have... but I'm still praying for justice for Jason & Lindsay here on earth! It would be such a huge relief to have the remainder of these unanswered questions resolved and to keep the person responsible from being able to hurt anyone else ever again!

I'm mostly grateful to know that, in the end, GOD WINS! There is no such thing as a "perfect crime," because God sees all and hears all... and He will bring the ultimate justice! That is what keeps me sane in this world that is so riddled with evil and pain, because I feel so helpless to change things. But I know that God is mindful of everything that happens and He feels every emotion that we feel. He is with us in our deepest sorrows and in our greatest joys! But we can't truly appreciate the happiness without knowing sorrow... just like we can't appreciate success without failure. There are a lot of things like that in life that give us perspective. I love God for the perspective He gives us the moment we choose to follow Him! His presence in your life changes everything and gives great HOPE in every circumstance! The sorrow and the heartbreak we experience just makes me realize how much I am looking forward to being in heaven someday! It is not something to be feared but to anticipate with joy!

So, as we reach another "anniversary," I ask that you will pray for Jason & Lindsay's families. This is a difficult time of year, understandably. I ask that you pray for them as well as justice for Jason & Lindsay! We will never give up hope!

Jason & Lindsay... we honor your legacy today as we remember the remarkable lives you led! I wish you could see how your story has touched the lives of countless people and how your example of faith has glorified God! What a day that will be when we will one day see you again!

In closing, I would like to share something written by Jason's mom:

It has been nine years since God called Jason and Lindsay home. I can't even imagine all that he has accomplished during this time he has spent in his heavenly home. He lived life to the fullest here on earth, and I am sure he is doing the same there. We look forward to his sharing of new adventures and showing us around. We look forward to worshiping our great and loving God along side of him. Daily I am reminded of the hope we have in Christ. I think that is why I love this song so much. This is our only true hope. We love you Jason and Lindsay.

Before the Throne of God Before the throne of God above I have a strong, a perfect plea; A great high Priest whose Name is Love Who ever lives and pleads for me! My name is graven on His hands, My name is written on His heart; I know that while in heaven He stands, No tongue can bid me thence depart! No tongue can bid me thence depart! When satan tempts me to despair And tells me of the guilt within, Upward I look and see Him there Who made an end to all my sin! Because the sinless Savior died, My sinful soul is counted free; For God the just is satisfied To look on Him and pardon me! To look on Him and pardon me! Behold Him there the risen Lamb, My perfect spotless righteousness; The great unchangeable I Am, The King of glory and of grace! One with Himself I cannot die, My soul is purchased by His blood; My life is hid with Christ on high, With Christ my Savior and my God! With Christ my Savior and my God! One with Himself I cannot die, My soul is purchased by His blood; My life is hid with Christ on high, With Christ my Savior and my God! With Christ my Savior and my God! (Words written in 1863 by Charitie Lees Smith)