Remember their love...

Today would have been Jason and Lindsay's one-year anniversary. It's hard to think about what this past year would have held for them if they had never died. It would have been a year of many firsts for them... and it would have been a year of many blessings. I do have questions for God when I get to heaven... one of which is simply why they had to die before they got married. They were so looking forward to spending their lives together... and they never even got the chance to walk down the aisle. But I won't despair...

I have found that focusing on all of the "why's?" does nothing but make my heart burn with sadness and grief. It is important to look at what good God has done in the wake of this heartbreaking tragedy. What's more... this day is significant in another obvious way... many families are hurting today as they remember their loved ones who were lost in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. September 11 will remain engraved into the hearts of countless people, not only Americans but those from around the world, because it is a day that changed everyone's perspectives. None of us are immune to tragedy... but we need to remember to focus on the positive instead of the pain... it is then that God can give us real hope.

I don't know how I would have reacted to 9/11 or Jason and Lindsay's deaths if I had not known God. I know that I would not have had hope... and would have spiraled into a chasm of despair. God is truly a God of hope and peace! He has carried us through this storm and will never let us go.

I recently bought the new Casting Crowns CD... and there is an awesome song that relates exactly to what I am trying to say. The liner notes for this song begin with a quote stating the inspiration for it:

"If there ever were a test of our faith -- if there ever were a test of the motives of our worship -- it is when a storm rolls into our lives. We watched and prayed for a precious little girl named Erin Edwards struggle with a deadly disease for several years. The courage, the witness, and the worship of Erin's mother Laurie inspired this song. Sometimes God calms our storms. Sometimes He chooses to ride them with us."

Here are the lyrics and the Bible verses that are listed along with them...

"PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM"
By Mark Hall

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen," and it's still raining...

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away...

CHORUS:
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm...

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
if I can't find You?...

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth...

[Chorus]

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." [Romans 8:28]

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." [2 Corinthians 4:16-18]

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." [Psalm 42:5]

"I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." [Psalm 121:1-2]

"At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: 'Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.'" [Job 1:20-21]

"Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, 'O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'" [Daniel 3:16-18]

Happy 24th Birthday to Lindsay...

Today, Lindsay would have turned 24. I wonder if God celebrates birthdays in heaven. :) I know that's probably a silly thought... but birthdays are important events during our earthly life... I just wonder if God values them in our eternal life. Nonetheless, my heart is heavy today as I think about Lindsay's birthday... I can't help it. I wonder what she and Jason would have done today to celebrate this occasion had they still been here... and that thought tugs on my heartstrings. I still cry a lot when I think about Jason and Lindsay... sometimes I can hardly believe that they really died in such a horrific way... but I am so grateful for the lessons God has taught so many throughout all of this. God has not let opportunities pass to mold people's hearts. It's like He scooped us up into His loving hands and shaped and refined our character, faith, perspectives, etc... and all while He comforted us and sheltered us from the storm. He is so amazing... glorious and sovereign...

In rememberance of Lindsay Christine Cutshall's 24th birthday and her legacy of faith, I asked a family friend of the Cutshall's to share with me a memory of Lindsay that I could post here...

I remember so much, she was such a happy child and young lady... always smiling. She always liked to challenge herself. I remember her having a motorcycle when she got her license. It was funny seeing her (this petite little girl) riding a motorcycle around the church parking lot. She always was climbing trees and and rocks. I remember the last time I saw her... we were at Chris and Kathy's... it was for Jason's birthday. Lindsay was getting Jason "Long John Silver's" for dinner and she was late getting there. She was late because she got stopped for speeding :) because she didn't want to be late. Boy, did she get a lot of razzing! We all laughed and she laughed and dragged her foot along because we were calling her "lead foot." I really hated to leave that night, but it was a party for young people. There are a lot of things like that that I remember... mostly, I never heard her say a bad thing about anyone.

Memories are so sweet... such a precious gift that we can hold on to.

Unfortunately, I didn't get the opportunity to get to know Lindsay well while she was still alive. I met her once at her and Jason's dual wedding shower in May 2004. I am grateful that I will have an opportunity to get to know her in heaven... and tell her and Jason all about the lives that they touched in ways more profound than they can imagine. Blessings to the Cutshall's and the Allen's this day... keep them in your prayers.

God bless!